A quick explanation: A strawberry letter is usually a letter seeking advice about love and relationships. This is my letter you can respond if you want to...
I will entitle this Strawberry Letter: Looking for some encouragement
I just broke up with someone that I was seeing for the past 3 months. It wasn't what I wanted to do but I know it's what I needed to do. He was caring and thoughtful. He didn't have much but he did his best to be romantic like taking me out to lunch from time to time or making sure we could spend time alone even though he has a roommate. We had become really close in these few months and played around with future plans but I had to end things. My issue was his involvement with drugs. I call it an involvement because it wasn't limited to smoking weed from time to time which honestly is something I could've ignored even though I don't and won't participate.
He also sold things from time to time which made me very uncomfortable. He sold something to some guys one night in front of me and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I confided in a mutual female friend of ours and she said it was something that he did sometimes only with friends and it wasn't something he was heavily involved in and it was just weed she says. No I did not confront him, yet. Than a couple weeks of hanging out with a different group of friends and acquaintances one person informed me that he tried to sell her something (not weed). I did confront him about that. He got defensive. He didn't like me listening to what he referred to as a "fourth party." However he admitted to it and also admitted that he does a variety of drugs. He asked if this would be a problem. I said "I don't know." because I wanted time to think about things. In hindsight I could have just told him yes and ended things there since I knew it was more than I would deal with. But I still kept seeing him and he continued to be the caring sweet guy with a side of controlled substances.
So I go home-home to visit family and friends most important of those my parents. I like to confide in them and get their advice but I also like to tell them the truth and be straight forward about what I'm doing or want to do. I couldn't be fully truthful about the new guy I was seeing. That didn't sit well with me especially since I want someone I'm dating to be able to have a good relationship with my parents. (Hopefully I'm not asking for too much :) ) I ~know~ if I told them everything they would have shut that whole situation down. Spending time back home was also a good way for me to clear my head and think without distractions.
Finally I return to home . He picked me up in my car from the airport. While we're making the hour long trip back to my place he mentions visiting a friend over the weekend. He doesn't have a car so he used my car. He said he saw a friend he hadn't seen in a while. I was okay with that but I couldn't shake the thought of him "moving" certain things in my car. That stayed with me the entire night and all throughout the next day. I knew I had to let him go. I did that night. I told him why. He asked if it was an ultimatum and I said no its just over... Thanks for reading aaaaaaaall of this. My request is just some encouragement. I know I did the right thing but I feel bad. I would stay with him almost nightly. I slept in his arms. He was a regular part of my life for a minute so I need help readjusting. I know how to be single but I can't help but feel like I lost a friend.
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