After my break up, I dealt with lots of confusion and
frustration. I was so confused about the relationship and frustrated about how
it ended. There was a brief reconciliation and we fell apart again. I am sure
it was for the best. I was still frustrated with myself. I wanted to be over it
and emotionally that took longer than it needed. I partially blame birth
control pills for that. That progesterone is not joke. I spent plenty of my
newfound free time reflecting on my choices, who I am as a person and how to get back to
the person I was before the relationship started. But that last part felt
wrong. Why did I need to go find myself again? I wasn’t a horrible person. I
didn’t change myself for that other person. I would like to think he was interested
in who I was without any extra bells or whistles. I remembered, before the relationship,
I was working on being better. That never stopped. I remembered how much I enjoy
my own company. I continued to enjoy time spent with family and friends. I
never lost anything. I didn’t stop growing as a person. There’s nothing I need
to get back. I’m where I need to be.
